It’s less than a week before Valentine’s Day and the internet will be bursting with stories about love—mostly romantic or about best-friendship or the tender feelings a mother has for her child.
I’m here to talk about a different kind of romance. It’s not sexy or sweet. It’s about your love for what you do at least eight hours a day and how to turn the sizzle back on when your relationship with work becomes a bad romance.
1. Remember why you joined your company in the first place.
When you got your job offer, you were really excited. Whether it was because of the money, your cool officemates, the company’s vision, the comments on social media from happy customers or the liberal dress code, get that thrilling feeling back by remembering why you accepted their offer.
2. Find a new way to do things.
Routines can suck. If you’ve been doing the same things over and over, year after year, you might want to shake the pattern of your days up a bit. Use a fun font. Orient your computer screen so you’re facing the door instead of the wall. Sit in a different chair during meetings. Take your coffee black instead of adding cream and sugar (or vice versa). Work in a coffee shop instead of at your desk.
3. Take a break.
Or plan a vacation. Look forward to something fun and unexpected.
4. Pause and take a breath.
If you can’t take a vacation, just set the timer on your phone every hour so you can step away from your computer, pause, close your eyes and take ten deep breaths.
Deep breathing allows you to focus on the moment, feel centered and connect with yourself in the middle of a busy day.
5. Laugh.
Keep a funny book nearby for some emergency giggles. (My favorites: The Morning Rush Top 10 and Lobster is the Best Medicine.) Check out Youtube videos of your favorite late-night hosts (Jimmy Fallon and James Corden crack me up). Adding some silly to your day will always help.
7. Make a friend.
Work friends know exactly what you’re going through and can be your biggest cheerleader and co-whiner when things aren’t going so well. If you have no friends at work, make one.
6. Find ways to make work a pleasure.
Decorate your planner. Buy a pen that writes like a dream. Prettify your work space with gorgeous office supplies. Splurge on a luxurious notebook with creamy paper and a textured cover. Wear sexy underwear. A scented candle and fresh flowers for your desk—why not?
7. Be grateful.
Write a thank you note to a colleague, your boss or the HR manager who always makes time to listen to you moan.
Or find 10 things about your work that you are grateful for—from the free coffee during meetings or the Post-it pile to flexible hours, an awesome leader or your best office friend. List all 10 things down in a notebook and say a prayer of gratitude. Refer to this list when you’re feeling down.
8. Learn something new.
Find out if HR has scheduled training programs and sign up for them.
If they don’t, then find another way to learn—whether it’s online like Skillshare, Craftsy or Creativebug) or live classes (check out Mansmith and Fielders, CraftMNL or HeyKessy). This can be connected to your job or not.
9. Do more of what you love.
Sometimes we lose our love because we’re being dragged down by tasks and routines we’re not good at or we downright hate. (For me, it would be reviewing expense reports, approving memos or purchase orders on SAP.)
If you can, talk to your boss about doing things that are more aligned to your strengths and what you love (fun for me would consist of coming up with new ideas and strategies, making presentations and creative brainstorming).
While we cannot completely remove everything we hate from our job, putting more focus and attention to what you love will make work a pleasure again.
10. Put up an inspiration board.
A postcard of a future destination. A photo of the home of your dreams. The future magazine cover you will be coming out in. Your own romantic love story. Images of joy.
You can create an inspiration board in Powerpoint from images on Pinterest. Print it out. Hang it on the wall where you can see it daily and see the reasons why you are working so hard. You can also save it the wallpaper on your smart phone’s lock screen.
11. Keep your eye on the prize.
Is it a promotion you want or the position of the boss of your boss? Do you want to be the thought leader in your industry, renowned on LinkedIn for your insights? Is this a jumping-off point to something bigger and better? Are you learning things so you can apply this to a future business?
Whatever it is, be motivated by your end goal—what is it that you truly want after five years? (NOTE: This can be totally different from what you answered in your job interview.)
12. Subscribe to something and make sure it’s delivered to the office.
This can be a box of beauty products or books (check out Cratejoy which also has international shipping). Or the life coaching book club (coming soon). A print magazine subscription (try my favorite magazine). Spark joy with a surprise package every month.
13. Find a new challenge.
Bored with the same-old? Volunteer to be part of the organizing committee for the Christmas party. Ask your boss if you can take on a new project. Start a company blog or online newsletter. Take charge of getting to know your customer a bit better through an online survey or face-to-face interaction. Find out what other departments do. Go beyond what’s expected and wow yourself with what you can do.
14. Choose love…always.
If all else fails, you always have the power to choose.
You can decide to hate where you are and what you do.
Or you can head to the office and shift your annoyed feelings to love—to notice the pleasures instead of what irritates, to find inspiration in your day, to make room to do what you love, to breathe.
Or you can choose to leave—to find a place where you can do inspired work, a place that’s a better fit, a place where you can do—and be—your best.
