Last Saturday, I was invited to speak about Raising Confident Children for Mommy Mundo’s Momschool.
I talked about how raising confident children starts with being confident moms first. We can tell our children “You’re beautiful!” “Be yourself!” “Accept yourself!” But when we show them how we put ourselves down, how we judge others and ourselves, how we don’t accept ourselves flaws and all, then our words don’t align with our actions, thoughts and feelings. Our children will feel confused and think that words are empty, that you can’t really be yourself, that they’re really not beautiful.
My talk centered around my favorite Cheri Huber quote from her book There is Nothing Wrong with You.
We are responsible for being the person we’ve always wanted to find. We must become our own best friend. We must learn to give to ourselves unconditional love and acceptance.
It’s not selfish. It is the first GIANT step toward selflessness.
We call people selfish when they will not give. But they cannot give what they do not have.
It’s like asking a starving child to share her food, and then making her feel guilty for not wanting to.
When we have enough we are eager to share.
Worksheets, fun interactive games, a meditation all helped the audience shift from a mindset of judgment to compassion. These activities helped them realize how to care for themselves, how to appreciate about their body, and how to talk to themselves in a way that makes them feel good and honors their worth. From that space of confidence, they can then raise their children from a more aligned place. They can practice compassionate parenting which shows their kids that there is an alternative to judgment and helps them understand the power of kindness and positivity.
What I should also have spoken about is how the body is a vessel. I’ve always admired the European attitude towards the body—their comfort in it, the ease in the way they move, the way they show it off, not really caring about its imperfections or flaws or whether they are the “right” body size. Looking at them, you realize that the body is just a container for the spirit. And the spirit is what you notice: a natural radiance, the inner glow, the confidence of being a woman which transcends cellulite, drooping breasts, aging skin.
So, this summer, unearth that bikini where it’s been gathering dust and remember that you are a woman—magnificent, glorious, beautiful. And if you don’t believe that, this is me reminding you that you are, you truly are.
