This week, we celebrated a milestone. My daughter, B, turned seven. It’s seven years since I became a mama.
The early days were surprisingly difficult. I didn’t have enough milk. It seemed like I was absent when the instinct for motherhood was being handed out. Her threenager year was a challenge and I wondered where my affectionate baby went. Now she is obsessed with Youtube while I try valiantly to transform her into a reader.
The tiny moments in between the challenges—her diaper butt, the sweet soft sigh and the smell of her neck after feeding, sitting on the floor with her playing with wooden blocks, the differences between “cay-yee” (being carried while standing) and “cay-ya” (being carried while seated), seeing her answer word problems without any help from me, the first time she got into a swimming pool—make them all worth it.
What I learned from seven years of being a mom:
1. Those early days—those endless nights of no sleep, the crying, the not knowing—will pass, I promise.
2. Treasure the days when Mama’s kisses can heal everything.
3. When she has a bad cold and can’t sleep, I massage some Vapor Soove on her back and chest. It’s magic. Soothing hands and the eucalyptus scent instantly put her to sleep.
4. My favorite parenting tools: a baby sling, the Miracle Blanket, Cotton On for sweet dresses and bathing suits, Citronella oil, Llama Llama books, giant Ziploc bags.
5. When traveling, always pack a thermometer and Tempra.
6. Do not surf Babycenter.com or Google when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Instead, ask your more experienced best friend, office mate or your pediatrician for advice.
7. Trust your instincts (they will eventually appear after you’ve had some sleep). I was reading a lot about sleep training and I wanted to do it to restore some sanity to my life but I couldn’t. Instead she slept on my chest and then beside me which calmed us both down. I also bought cloth diapers and covers before she was born. I thought that I would be the kind of mom who would only feed her organic food and attend a Waldorf school but I obviously wasn’t. After half a day in cloth diapers, we immediately changed her to Mamy Poko disposable nappies.
8. Instead of a traditional baby book, use available technology as memory keepers. I kept a blog for her early years and Instagram for pre-school. There’s also a book/journal called Q&A A Day for Moms: A Five Year Journal which is another lovely way of remembering.
9. When choosing a school, list down your values and find a school that’s aligned with those. In my case, I wanted a progressive education because she needed a different way for her to learn in a world of Google. A small school was ideal so that the teachers would know who she is. It was also important for me that religion was part of their curriculum. So I found a school that ticked all these boxes…even if it’s 45 minutes away from home in traffic.
10. She started her own gratitude practice at five years old. When we say her evening prayers, we also say thank you for five things she loves about the day. She says thank you for her friends, the book she has learned to read, her seventh birthday celebration, the afternoons at the playground.
