A few years ago, I was asked: What would it look like if you were living your best life?

I wanted three things: to run my own business, to live in a house on the beach, to write and publish my own book.  Despite what I had already accomplished in my career and personal life, I knew in my heart that if I didn’t make these happen, I would regret all those moments wasted on the unimportant, the inconsequential.

This is one of the reasons why my clients ask to be coached.  They too want to live a life with no regrets.  They want to make their dreams real.  My clients want to know that they’ve tried to make it the best life they could.

Today, I’m running my own business.  I have written a book (although it has yet to be published). Unfortunately, I’m still writing this to you from my home in the city instead of on a sandy beach in front of crashing waves.

So how can you live a life with no regrets?  Here are some steps I have taken:

1. Ask yourself:  Do you really want what you want?

I had another item on my list of dreams—to send my daughter abroad to study in a US university.  I realized that I was following the example set by people around me. It was not necessarily the best decision for me or her as her career after school would be in the Philippines and not abroad.

Check if this dream is something you REALLY want and not just something that seems to be an attractive option because of Instagram, Facebook or the blogs you read.

2. Make a choice.

I had made the decision in the past to stay in the corporate world because it was safe and my financial future was secure.  However, the call to entrepreneurship was too strong and I knew that I wanted to try and give it the same kind of commitment.  So I left my day job to run my life coaching business.

Your dream will ask you to make difficult decisions.  You have to evaluate whether your dream is worth what you’re giving up.

3. find creative solutions.

Living a life with no regrets doesn’t mean giving up your responsibilities.  I initially tried the path of being a consultant-for-hire while I was training to be a life coach.  However, the erratic nature of the payments I was receiving couldn’t match the bills I had to pay.  I went to back to work full time while studying and coaching clients after work and on weekends.

If you need to postpone your dream to establish your financial cushion or support your family, then find other ways to make it happen:  do it on the side, plan for it, establish contacts and so on. 

4. Take the first step.

I wrote my book during Nanowrimo or National Novel Writing Month.  You are challenged to complete a 50,000-word novel in one month.  The idea is to write 1,667 words per day so that by the end of the month, you have a first draft of your novel.

November 30, 2008 was a day I will never forget.  I typed “the end,” emailed the title page of my novel to my friends and proudly announced that I had written my book. During the month, I wrote at midnight, at dawn, completed 5,000-word-sessions to make up for days that I had missed.

What first step can you take to make your dream life happen?  Then take it. No more excuses.  

5. Be open to opportunities.

I haven’t made any progress yet on my dream house on the beach.  But I’m practicing saying yes to opportunities for escape, discovery, wonder—all the values that this house represents.  What I’m seeing is that this dream might actually be more of a call to travel, to see the world rather than to own another home.

Say yes to things that will take you out of your comfort zone.  Say yes to wonder.  Understand what the dream represents and say yes to opportunities present themselves that manifest these, even if they don’t look exactly like what you thought.

6. Find support.

My family, best friends, counselor and life coach all encouraged me to pursue my own business.  They believed in me wholeheartedly, knowing that this what-if question (what if I started my own business instead of staying in my corporate job?) would perpetually hang over me—and them.

Your belief in yourself is powerful but it’s not enough.  Find someone to support you.  If your family or friends can’t, then find someone else who will—a mentor, an old professor, a coach, a group of fellow entrepreneurs. Ask them to hold you accountable in letting you live your regret-free life. 

7.  Face the fear and make it your partner.

I was always terrified of giving up my steady paycheck, the leadership position that I had worked so hard for.  One day, I allowed my fear (and its worst-case scenarios) to let loose in the pages of my journal, letting myself scribble everything that was coming up.  Then I wrote, “Oh, my darling, what if you fly?”  And that terrified feeling was replaced by hope, joy and faith.

Don’t numb fear.  Listen to it, to the wisdom it has to offer.  And then calm it down by presenting the possibilities, the miracles that come from finally following your heart.

8.  Be grateful.

Know that being able to follow your dream and your heart is a gift.  Don’t ever take it for granted.

Photo by Issara Willenskomer, Unsplash.com.

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