In the book, Playing Big, author Tara Mohr talked about her struggle to lose weight—how she tried diets and exercise to no avail.
It was only when she shifted thinking about her weight loss as a should goal (I should lose weight! I should fit into a size 2! I should make more healthy choices! I shouldn’t eat too much chocolate!) into a gift goal that the weight started coming off. She changed her attitude from wanting to alter her body to living free of the suffering that comes from emotional over-eating.
Freeing herself from self-criticism and being in tender friendship with herself was her gift goal. Gift goals, for her, “should be as joyful to pursue as to achieve.”
Gift goals reflect our callings and unique paths—they don’t come from the pressures of society, culture, company, friends or family. Gift goals have a magnetic pull on us because they are an expression of what we truly desire.
—Tara Mohr, Playing Big
How can you re-define your goals as gifts? How can you shift your mindset from
- I should lose weight.
- I should do yoga everyday.
- I should wake up early.
- I should meet deadlines.
- I should take a break from social media
into statements that are not burdens on your heart and spirit but are lighter and more joyful?
Maybe the goal can instead be:
- The confidence I feel and my new way of moving and being are my gifts.
- The strength I have—in my body and mind—because of a consistent practice is my gift.
- The quiet thinking time for journaling and mediation in the morning is my gift.
- The time I’m spending doing what I love because I didn’t procrastinate is my gift.
- The moments I’m looking into my children’s eyes instead of my phone are my gifts.
Each of these goals is rooted in the heart, of becoming a better version of yourself, of beautiful change. It’s not because of satisfying an external expectation or of pleasing someone else.
That’s when things become truly a gift.
