Ten years ago, a gynecologist who specialized in fertility issues told me why I wasn’t getting pregnant. My husband and I had been trying for almost three years and every month, my heart would shatter slightly every time my period would arrive.
The doctor was blunt and straightforward. Her bedside manner had seemingly taken a sick leave that day.
It was hard to hear her diagnosis and her recommended treatment. It was difficult to accept her tone of voice and her attitude. In fact, it took me six more months to process what she had said and begin doing something about it.
Sometimes you have to hear the truth no matter how much discomfort it gives you. The truths aren’t served with chocolate, on a marshmallow pillow. Sometimes they are handed to you on a bed of nails. “She could have said it in a nicer way,” you argue, resistant to the truth. But she didn’t and you can’t un-hear what was said.
But these wake you up and in knowing, you can’t go back to how you once thought or who you once were. You can choose to ignore it or you can choose to listen to its wisdom and take action.
When I finally remembered that I wanted a child, I took her advice, even if it was uncomfortable, painful and humbling. Two months later, I found myself staring at a stick, the two lines* on it pulsing with joy, echoing what was in my heart.
*two lines on a pregnancy test means it’s positive
