1. Write a list of of qualities your ideal life would have.
Remember writing down your required list of must-haves for your future SO?
(In case you’re curious, my list included funny, smart, smells good, has good teeth, is chinito, wears glasses.)
What if you do the same for your life? Daydream a little. Sit quietly and imagine what your ideal life would look like. What are you doing? What time do you wake up? Where are you living? What do you do with your days? How do you feel? Write it down.
Are there steps now to make some parts of your ideal life happen?
2. Take yourself out on dates.
No need to wait for someone to ask you out. Just find interesting spots to try and spend a lovely time with a gorgeous person—you!
Here are some ideas:
- Savor a book at that new coffee spot.
- Try a new massage treatment: Bowen therapy, ventosa, Hawaiian lomi lomi.
- Splurge on fancy nail polish at the salon or take a chance on a funky color or nail art.
- Visit condominium model units and imagine yourself living there.
- Spend an afternoon learning something new—a new craft, cooking, even meditation.
- Do an exercise class you’ve always wanted to try.
- Go on a solo retreat and meet like-minded people who can be your tribe.
- Get the makeover you’ve always wanted.
3. Compliment yourself.
When you pass by a mirror and you check yourself out (don’t worry, we all do it!), don’t focus on your flaws: the tummy that protrudes, the tired expression, the hair long-overdue for a trim. Instead, give yourself a big smile and say, “I love you.” If you’re alone, say it out loud. If you’re not, just give yourself a loving smile.
It will feel weird at first. It’s always easier to profess to your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/best friend/child but so difficult to say it to ourselves. But why not? As Cheri Huber, author of one of my favorite books, There is Nothing Wrong with You, says,
“We are responsible for being the person we’ve always wanted to find. We must become our own best friend. We must learn to give to ourselves and to receive from ourselves unconditional love and acceptance. It is not selfish. It is the first GIANT step toward selflessness.
We call people selfish when they WILL NOT give. But they CANNOT give what they DO NOT have.”
4. Give yourself gifts and—why not?—flowers.
Treat yourself. Make yourself feel good. Your hard work, all the giving that you do, the fact that living in this world sometimes feels very tiring—you deserve those shoes you’ve been eyeing, a new accessory for your home, the lipstick that makes you feel oh-so-sexy!
5. Do what you love.
You don’t have to do this all day everyday (although wouldn’t that be wonderful?). But make time to do what your heart sings for, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day—whether that’s catching up with a friend, reading a book, making a collage, or creating a scrapbook of memories.
