The other night, I received a newsletter. As I was reading it, I could feel my body react—my face felt warmer, my head felt “full.” I knew what that signaled: all-out jealousy.
I was jealous of this entrepreneur’s achievements, all the cool things she was creating, her business success. I couldn’t help but compare my progress to hers. The envy and comparison-its caused my self-worth to plummet and no amount of trying to shift my mindset could alter my feelings.
Early Monday morning, I received sad news on our family Viber group. My favorite Tito had passed away. I remembered my childhood and how he would always make time to play with us. The little work I accomplished was accompanied by warm tears. When I wasn’t crying, my throat was tight.
I always give the advice to choose joy. But I realized that what I wanted more than a joyful life was a wholehearted one, one that would allow emotions like jealousy or grief and not label them as “ugly” or less-than. In this way, I am honoring my humanity and giving myself compassion and understanding. There is room for ALL emotions. By feeling jealousy, anger, grief, you can also fully experience joy, excitement, transcendence, wonder.
As Brené Brown reminds us,
“The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable, but our wholeness—even our wholeheartedness—actually depends on the integration of all our experiences, including the falls.”
So grieve. Be jealous. Cry. Be pissed. Or annoyed.
And I’m here to remind you, It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.
