When I started on this personal growth/self-leadership journey, one of the first books I read was The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.
This was one of the quotes I highlighted in the book:
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.”
How did this quote land with you? Did you feel it in your bones like I did?
I thought I needed to be perfect to be worthy of taking up space on this planet, to be worthy of love and acceptance, to be worthy of being listened to, to be worthy of respect. To be worthy.
I now call myself a lapsed perfectionist.
But in the last few months, I found myself slipping into old habits. Projects piling on top of each other meant that I made so many mistakes. There was a pretty major typo, editing errors on my newsletters, pricing issues and even ordering the wrong size for my packaging materials). Instead of giving myself understanding and kindness, I blamed myself, felt ashamed, would ruminate again and again over these lapses and lashed out at my family. And this blame-and-shame game resulted not in less errors but in more.
One night, while journaling, I asked myself what I needed.
The answer: Slow down. Pause. Reconnect. Recalibrate. Reset.
This February, I’m giving myself the gift of doing that.
This means that I’m putting Discovery Sessions on pause and will only be shipping journals twice a week.
I will be saying yes to daily Zentangles, Skillshare classes, K-dramas and pottery class. I will take time for writing, no alarm-naps and lots of reading.
At the end of this month, I will emerge from this break more inspired—with the energy to serve from a place of joy and wholeness, with more creative ideas and the ability to see mistakes again for what they are: an expression of my humanity and an opportunity to learn
“When we become more loving and compassionate with ourselves…we can embrace our imperfections. It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion and connection.” (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown)
Ask yourself: Where have I been valuing perfection over connection and compassion (with myself and others)? Am I being a perfectionist not because of healthy striving and doing my best or because I need to fill a hole that’s always whispering “you’re not enough”? On the flip side, where have I been settling?
Pause and ask: What do I need right now?
