These were the stories I used to tell myself:
“I’m the ugly best friend.”
“I’m best behind the scenes.”
“I’m a starter, not a finisher.”
“I’m a writer, not an editor.” “I’m an editor, not a writer.” (This is dependent on what part of the novel writing process I’m in.)
“It’s too hard. I can’t do it.”
I type these statements now and I smile a little. Because, man, how brutal is my inner critic? And wow, how I did limit myself because of these beliefs?
We all have stories that hold us back from what’s possible for us—from achieving our full potential, living our ideal lives, making our dreams a reality.
So how do you say adios to these limiting beliefs?
1. Ask yourself: “Says who?” If the name of a real person comes up, then ask, “Why should I believe him or her? Who made that person an expert on me?”
2. Ask yourself, “How is this thought serving me?”
3. If you’re ready to release the belief (and since nature abhors a vacuum), replace it with a new and powerful truth.
“I’m the ugly best friend.”—> Birds of a feather flock together. My friends and I are gorgeous!
“I’m best behind the scenes.”—> I give myself permission to be the main character of my life. My stories are worth sharing.
“I’m a starter, not a finisher.”—> SO NOT TRUE. Look how I finished this newsletter, books I love, projects I’m passionate about, journals.
“I’m a writer, not an editor.” “I’m an editor, not a writer.”—> I am both and I can write and edit my book into completion.
“It’s so hard. I can’t do it.”—> I can do hard things because I’ve done them in the past.
4. Give your inner critic your attention. Ask her what she is protecting you from. Treat her with compassion. Thank her for taking care of you and remind her that you are strong and courageous and can do new and yes, hard things.
5. Realize that the habit of taking gentle care of your heart and believing your inner cheerleader/coach/mentor is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. One day, you will realize that the voice of your inner critic is no longer as loud. You will be someone you can trust. Your empowering new stories will allow you to take steps towards the life you want, towards a life so uniquely and authentically yours.
As we inch closer towards the end of the year, are there stories that you no longer want to take with you into the new year? Find ways to say goodbye to them during this time.
