One of the things I remember clearly about my corporate life was how the fourth quarter was dedicated to finalizing goals, strategies and action plans for the next year.
I’m a big believer in goal setting. I write down my goals, make a list of monthly to-dos that align with them, keep them top of mind and then evaluate myself on what worked, what didn’t and what I learned. As I coach my clients, I also make sure we’re clear on where we’re headed.
These are all good because they help you achieve what you want which then gives you pat-yourself-on-the-back feelings. And who doesn’t want that?
But the thing with being a goal-getter is…
…sometimes you forget to find joy in the steps you take to get closer to your goal. You’re so focused on the results, you forget that there is value in the process, in showing up, in finding pleasure and delight in living in the day-to-day whether you achieve your goal or not.
And the other thing with being a goal-getter is…
…that your worth is tied to your goals. If you achieve them, you feel confident, motivated, happy. If you don’t, you feel like hiding in a corner, eating a plate of processed (not homemade) chocolate chip cookies and beating yourself up.
I want to let you know that you are not your goals. Yes, set them, work hard, do your best. But remember that you are worthy of love and acceptance whether or not you meet them. You cherish your best friend even if she didn’t achieve her sales targets. You find pleasure in your husband’s embrace even if his company’s P&L didn’t quite live up to what was promised. You rejoice in your children’s laughter and chatter even if they come home with a report card that’s not quite perfect. And that’s the same feeling the important people in your life have for you—whether you accomplish your goals or not.
So as we end 2018 and begin another seemingly blank slate of a new year, I want you to remember that:
You are not your goals.
Find joy in the journey.
You are worthy just as you are.
