Balance is about finding the time and energy for the different areas of your life. It means not spending all your hours at work or on errands but allocating them to the other things you value—your family, friends, hobbies, home, a spiritual practice.
Usually this word is tucked into the phrase “work-life balance,” as if one word was the enemy of the other.
I have discovered that balance is elusive, that what we should be aiming for isn’t balance. What if we have the mindset that work is just part of life and maybe the goal isn’t to find time for everything? What if we aim for instead is a life where you’re living up to your potential, where there are pockets of joy, where you are doing things out of love rather than fear?
However, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your responsibilities, here are some steps you can take to feel more equilibrium:
1. Ask yourself: What does balance really mean? What parts of your life feel unbalanced? What parts need your attention?
2. Make a list of three things you want to do if you were to give time and attention to these parts. After making this list, find ways to slot in these activities in your day or week.
3. Say no. Say no to additional responsibilities. Delegate. Ask for help.
4. Make space for joy or even just deep breaths during the day. Step away from your desk, your computer and your mobile phone. Take time for cookies and a cup of tea. Laugh. Here are more ideas to make your day a pleasure.
5. Breathe and surrender to your life as it is. Maybe it’s the season of your life where you are being called to hustle. Or maybe it’s time to make time for family. Whatever it is, these words from Pema Chödrön might give you some serenity in your struggle:
Finally, couldn’t we just relax and lighten up? When we wake up in the morning, we can dedicate our day to learning how to do this. We can cultivate a sense of humor and practice giving ourselves a break. Every time we sit down to meditate, we can think of it as training to lighten up, to have a sense of humor, to relax. As one student said, “Lower your standards and relax as it is.
—Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart
