Although her book came out a few years ago, there’s been a resurgence in interest in Marie Kondo because of her Netflix show. It’s the latest self-help trend that promises more joy, a better you, with more meaningful relationships, a purposeful career and most especially, a beautiful home.
Maybe you’re like me and you’ve tried each self-help trend that ever came up. I’ve explored different trends: from The Secret to tarot to morning routines to Konmari.
After experimenting, I’ve figured out what works for me and my life right now:
1.Taking 100% responsibility for my life. Everything in my life is a result of choices I’ve made. If I want a different future, I decide differently today. I can have a more empowered mindset. I can face my fears. I can take action, show up and be consistent even if I don’t really feel like it.
2. Meditation. Instead of starting my day on a diet of friend updates or news, I choose to start it with 10 minutes of meditation. Sometimes the waves of the sea are the sounds my thought float along with as I use my favorite meditation app. Most times, I listen to guided meditations. This calming practice sets the tone for my day.
3. Gratitude. At night I write down five things I’m grateful for. I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years and I’ve written many times about its life-changing magic. If there’s one small step you can take to make your life better, it’s this.
4. Journaling: I’ve been keeping a journal since I was in sixth grade. I used to think about it as just a repository for my memories. As I’ve gotten older, my journal has become a place for me to process my feelings, to heal, to get creative ideas, to release stress, to allow my thoughts to meander.
5. Self-love and forgiveness. This is the hardest and most important lesson to learn—to love and accept myself, not just my achievements and joys but even the bits that aren’t so lovable (the flabby tummy and thighs with cellulite, the impatience and insensitivity, the times I have hurt others). And like all the practices I’ve mentioned above, this is an on-going process, a lifetime of learning and unlearning and relearning. I do it because I cannot give what I don’t have. I’ve lived my life without learning these lessons for so long and had to figure out the hard way how important this was. I do it because this connection with myself allows for more empathy and more awareness on how similar we are and how are all looking for someone for the same thing. You don’t have to look outside yourself for love. You can give it to yourself.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying out every self-help trend in pursuit of the best version of yourself. It’s fun to experiment and figure out what works for you. Just remember though that sometimes the simplest actions are the best, that the answers you need are already inside, that you have to slow down to listen and that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are.
Photo by Fleur Treurniet on Unsplash.
.
