Last week, two amazing opportunities presented themselves. They were very tempting.
One offered a lot of money for three days of intense writing work in which my past marketing background would have been a huge benefit. The other was an Instagram influencer event with an accompanying shopping spree.
I said no to both.
The first one was easier to decline as the client’s business wasn’t aligned with my personal values. I could also picture my future self complaining and grumbling why her past self said yes to something that went against her instincts.
The second one was harder. First, I was kilig to be considered an “influencer.” Second, I knew that the event would be fun. Third, who says no to a shopping spree?
But because it was an influencer event, there were content requirements for posting on Instagram. It made me uncomfortable as I post my own products and services or things that I had bought with my own money and loved. I knew I wouldn’t be in integrity if I had gone to the event and didn’t post according to their guidelines. It wouldn’t have been fair to the organizers or the other guests. So goodbye, fun afternoon and future shopping spree.
Here are some questions to ask when you are tempted to say yes but need to say no:
When you say no, what are you saying yes to?
Maybe you’re standing up for your personal values. Maybe you’re saying yes to your family or time for rest or your emotional health. Or maybe it’s a yes to your intuition which is nudging you in a different direction.
When you say no, what are you making space for?
Maybe a better opportunity that you would not have had the bandwidth for. Maybe more trust from your followers. Or how about more clarity about what you want to give your time to?
When you say no, how is that aligning with your vision for your life and your future self?
Maybe your future self wants you to remember that your worth is not tied to others’ praise or criticism. Maybe your vision for your life is to start living with more truth and freedom.
Whether you say yes or no, ask yourself: is this choice helping me grow or is it diminishing me? Am I moving towards the direction of love or towards fear?
One last tip: when you say no, there’s no need for drama or worse, to lie. You can simply say, no, not this time. (And if you’re saying no to your boss, here are some helpful strategies.) In these two situations, I declined politely, gave a concise explanation and thanked them for the opportunity. They both graciously replied and found others who could do the job better for them. No bad feelings all around…and my shoulders lightened from the burden of unwanted obligations.
