What a fun ride last month was: my first post-pandemic trip abroad, the pre-order launch of the Sunday Night Journal, rest, new discoveries, and of course, the Write Away retreat.
Here are six lessons I learned from that experience:
1. Choose the right partners.
During Write Away, I work with two amazing women who are also phenomenal writers and prolific authors: Sam Sotto Yambao and Mina Esguerra.
Sam was a friend from college and my editor for the college paper. I was the publisher of Mina’s first book.
For the beauty of their writing, their hands-on practical experience in getting their books published, and their generosity in sharing their knowledge, they are truly the best partners for this retreat.
How about you? Who are *your* partners in your life’s journey, who support you when life gets tough and celebrate with you when things are going wonderfully?
2. Be mindful of the energy.
I read once that Oprah has this sign hanging outside her dressing room: Please take responsibility for the energy that you bring into this space.
I have adopted it for the retreat.
But even before the retreat started, I always make sure to visit the places and spaces where I hold my retreats and workshops. This is not only because photos on the internet are very misleading but because I want to feel the energy of the space. Do I feel welcomed, warm, cared for, at home? Or does it feel neglected, stale, unloved?
And you? How are you contributing to the energy around you? How can you leave a place or people better than when you first met them?
3. Create a safe space.
And speaking of spaces, one thing I always say at the start of the retreat is: this is a safe space. Don’t be afraid to open up and be your true authentic self here.
The thing I realized about creating a safe space is that it will all be lip service unless you allow yourself to be truly vulnerable.
During the last night of the retreat, each of the writers courageously shared what they had written during the past three days. Yes, those writers included us, the organizers.
So I pulled out the novel I had written during Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) last year—which I hadn’t looked at since I wrote “the end” on 30 November 2022.
And I read my words out loud—my hands shaking, my voice trembling, my heart racing. I cracked a few jokes after my reading and acknowledged that me trying to be funny was a reaction to my anxiety and discomfort. This admission of my vulnerability and fear allowed others to start to feel safe about sharing their own writing.
And you—how are you creating a safe space for yourself in a world that refuses to do that for you?
4. Do it your way.
I also learned this from Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour (my daughter B and I watched the movie version last week).
Taylor was talking about how she stopped doing concerts after every album launch and instead did an unheard-of 3.5 hour concert to celebrate the different eras of her career.
Write Away always has my favorite things: books, delicious food, wine and cheese nights, writing and massage. We also added new and fun things this year, like the Write Away Cafe with coffee, sugar cookies and uninterrupted writing time, an early morning walking meditation, and a burn ritual which gracefully segued into our s’mores night.
How can you make your days and routines feel more like you instead of just blindly following what society dictates?
5. Follow the signs.
For the last two retreats, Write Away was open to eight writers. But for some reason, only seven writers end up going.
And I have learned to trust what showed up: the seven writers who have wholeheartedly decided to sign up, the 10-seater dining table that comfortably fit all of us (seven writers and three organizers), the double rainbow that appeared as the sun set on the second day reminding us that everything is as it should be and that I’m at the right place at the right time always.
What signs have been showing up in your life lately? What have they been encouraging you to trust?
6. Allow your words to take up space.
This is what one of the writers boldly declared during my workshop on mindset.
Like her, I’m also allowing my words to take up space—not only on this blog which has become my comfort zone but even beyond.
This November, I’m not going to be writing another novel for Nanowrimo but I am making a commitment to editing and revising the draft I wrote last year. I want my words and my work to reach more not only you but more women just like you: loving, open-hearted, creative, inspiring.
And how about you? Where have you been shrinking yourself to fit in? How can you allow yourself to take up more space in this world?
